


Breathe

by amcsummersgoddess



Category: Halex - Fandom
Genre: Comfort/Angst, Halex, M/M, Mutant Powers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 17:13:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14193747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amcsummersgoddess/pseuds/amcsummersgoddess
Summary: Flashbacks of Alex’s parents dying haunts him in his sleep and Hank’s the one who helps him get through it.





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt request from zombiemutt-trash-center, thanks again!!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_The smell of smoke filled his lungs as the flames surged out of the helicopter. He tried to scream but no words came out. All he could hear was Scott crying out and his vision soon became blurred with smoke._

Alex wakes up gasping for air and he feels as if his whole body is on fire. Sweat stains his sheets as it continues to dribble down his arms and forehead. His breathing is coming down hard and fast. His hands are shaky as he runs them through his blonde locks, which were damp with sweat. 

Alex looks over at his clock to see it’s almost three in the morning and he knows fully we’ll sleep won’t be an option. He makes his way out of bed and strips off his damp clothes and turns the shower on cold. The ice cold water soothes his skin and he rests his pounding head against the cool tiles. 

_Breathe. Just breathe_. 

Alex inhales through his mouth and exhales through his nose, closing his eyes to calm his rapid heartbeat. He does this a few more times till he feels his lungs starting to work normally again. He seats himself in the tub and hugs his knees to his chest, letting the water hit his skin like tiny pins poking into him. 

It was just a dream. It had always been just a dream that was once his reality. Now it’s just a mere memory that haunts him every night while he slept. 

Alex kept these thoughts and feelings to himself, he didn’t need Charles to help soothe his mind. He didn’t want anyone’s pity. They all saw him as the orphan boy with the kid brother who was separated when they got put into foster care. He didn’t need to hear people’s empathy for having a “hard life.” He just needed everyone to leave him the hell alone, which Alex made fairly easy. He pushes everyone away with every chance he has. He’s amicable with Charles, but only talks to him when necessary which was usually during training. Alex didn’t really speak to Erik much, he just saw him hanging around the mansion, usually with Charles. Raven spends most of her time in her room, but Alex sees her at meals and she’s fairly friendly with him. Sean is someone Alex considers his best friend if he were to give their relationship a label. Alex could nearly tell Sean anything and Sean won’t bat an eye at it. He’s s good listener and makes Alex laugh most times which helps. 

Then, there’s Hank. Alex doesn’t really know what he considers Hank as. He’s never had a full on conversation with him besides the teasing Alex throws at him every once in awhile. Besides the teasing, Alex admires him in a way. Hank’s ridiculously, almost annoyingly smart, he’s a nice guy, but Alex thinks he’s a complete Bozo sometimes. 

Alex manages to calm down once he collects his thoughts together and turns off the shower. He dries himself off and throws on a pair of sweats and heads downstairs. 

The mansion is quiet and dark, but Alex knows his way around well enough to not bump into anything. He quietly makes his way downstairs and down to the main hall when he came to a halt. There, making their own way upstairs, is Hank. Alex didn’t want the confrontation as to why he’s up but his feet seem to be glued to the floor as Hank made his way towards him. 

Hank gives the mutant a faint smile. “You’re up early,” he comments as he walks past Alex and quietly up the stairs himself. 

“Jog,” Alex replies and he hates how he sounds like a caveman. Hank gives him a slightly weird look and Alex’s just wants him to go away. “What are you staring at, Bozo?” Hank shakes his head at him and continues to go upstairs. 

Alex makes his way outside and starts to jog on the track around the mansion. He clears his mind as he runs, he can’t think about anything, if he thinks he’ll just be reminded. He keeps pushing himself to go faster even though his legs are begging him to stop. His lungs are aching and Alex swears he can smell smoke. He hears an explosion and Scott screaming and it’s all too much for him. Alex feels his knees give out and he he feels the gravel of the ground hit his hands but he doesn’t care. He can barely feel anything. He just feels numb. 

_Breathe._

He tries to breathe but his lungs have stopped working. They’re filled with smoke, the only air he knows. 

“Alex?” His ears perk up at the sound of his name and he recognizes the posh, accented voice as Charles. “Alex, are you alright?” He can hear the crunch of his shoes walking closer to him and he can feel he’s now crouching down to his level, placing a warm hand on his shoulder. “It’s alright my friend,” he says softly. 

“D-don’t,” Alex chokes out and finds the strength to shrug out of Charles’ touch. He didn’t want his comfort. Alex doesn’t need comfort, he needs to be alone. He slowly stands and walks off into the house, going as fast as his legs could take him. He ignores Charles calling his name and ignores all the looks he got from everyone who are now up and about. Alex looks down at the ground as he feels hot tears pour down his face. He just needs to get to the bunker, no one will bother him there. 

The thing about solitary confinement Alex enjoyed the most was the fact that he was alone. He purposely got himself in there, started fights with inmates he knew he couldn’t beat just to be away from them all. The bunker reminds Alex of confinement. He’s closed off and locked away from the rest of the world, knowing he won’t be able to hurt anyone if he were to burst. 

_Breathe._

A shaky breath was taken and Alex feels himself relaxing. He knows if he runs into anyone they’ll just try to talk to him and ask him what’s wrong. Charles will want a full blown analysis of his psyche but Alex doesn’t want the events to resurface. He doesn’t want to relive the events of his past. He just wants to forget it all. 

Alex returns to his room later that evening and doesn’t go down for dinner. He changes his sheets and replaces them with some clean ones and makes his bed nice and neat. He then takes a nice, long, hot shower and changes into a muscle tee and a clean pair of sweatpants. Just as he finishes changing, he hears a knock on his door and goes to answer it, seeing it’s Hank giving him a small smile and holding a plate of food out to him. 

“Not hungry,” Alex tries to close the door but Hank sticks his foot in the way, stopping him from doing so. 

“Alex, you have to eat something,” Hank states as he tries to hand him the food again. 

“But I’m not hungry,” Alex retorts and Hank sighs defeatedly. 

“Just stay hydrated, okay? You have practice in the morning,” he reminds him and Alex nearly forgot about his training with Hank tomorrow. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he gives a small wave with his freehand before leaving Alex be. 

Alex respects the fact that Hank didn’t pester him with questions or try to figure out what’s wrong. Maybe Hank knows it’s not his place to pry, or he simply doesn’t care what Alex is going through. He was probably told by Charles to check up on him anyway. Alex shakes his head and turns off all his lights and gets into bed.

Sleep overcame him easily as he was lacking it and he had a dream he was a little kid again. It was a memory of his first Christmas after Scott was born. Alex was excited about all of the presents and happy to be with his parents. 

Suddenly, their Christmas tree was on fire and Scott was screaming and there were flames and smoke and his parents were no longer there. Alex couldn’t breathe, smoke occupied his lungs now and all he could see are streaks of red and orange clouding his vision. 

Alex’s eyes snap open and his grey bedroom ceiling greets him. His heart is pounding in his ears and he could still faintly smell smoke. He turns to see it’s one in the morning and he knows everyone has gone to sleep by now. Alex shakily makes his way out of his bed and heads down to the bunker. 

_Breathe._

Alex curls up into a ball in the corner of the bunker, burying his head in his knees. 

_Just breathe_. 

Hours must’ve gone by because Alex hears the door to the bunker being open. He slowly lifts his head up to see Hank standing at the doorway, his blue eyes wide. 

“Alex!” Hank rushes over to him and examines his face, seeing he has bags under his eyes. “Were you in here all night?” Alex ignores the question and stares past Hank. “Alex, we need to get you out of here,” Hank wraps his hand around Alex’s arm in attempts to help him up. 

Alex shrugs Hank off like he’s poison and suddenly stands. “Don’t touch me! I don’t need your help, Bozo,” he snarls and walks out of the bunker. 

“Alex!” Hank calls behind him and catches up to him. 

“Leave me alone!” Alex calls back and tries to get as far away from Hank as possible. Alex walks down the hall and into another room, where he sees where all of the jets are parked. 

Alex feels his breath catch in his throat. He sees the helicopter crash in front of his eyes and feels the gust of heat from the explosion caused hit his face and the smell of smoke fills the air. 

“Alex,” Hank catches up to him and sees his static state. “Alex,” he repeats, “look at me.”

Alex doesn’t move, he can only stare at the jet. “They’re dead,” he feels his mouth go dry. 

“Who’s dead?” Hank asks with concern. “Alex, who’s dead?”

“They’re dead,” Alex repeats and he feels his eyes starting to sting with tears. His breathing starts to get shallower and the smell of smoke becomes stronger and he hears Scott screaming and Alex’s knees give out. 

“Alex!” Hank crouches down to his level and wraps his arms around him as he begins to violently shake with tears. “Hey,” he says softly and runs a hand through Alex’s hair, trying to soothe him. “It’s okay, Alex. Just breathe.”

“I-I can’t,” he chokes out. 

“Yes you can,” Hank takes Alex’s face in his hands. “Look at me,” Alex meets Hank’s eyes. “Breathe. Just breathe Alex, it’s okay.” Alex closes his eyes and inhales and exhales slowly through his nose. “Just like that, keep breathing.” 

Alex rests his head against Hank’s shoulder as he feels his breathing starting to stabilize. He feels Hank wrap his arms around him tighter and seats him onto his lap. Alex would usually shrug him off, but the gesture felt kind of nice and comforting. He pulls away a little to look at Hank, pleadingly. “Can this stay between us, please?”

Hank looks over Alex’s face before giving a small nod. “Okay,” he agrees. “I don’t want to pry, but you said ‘they’re dead.’ Who’s dead?” 

Alex closes his eyes as he lets out a shaky breath. “My parents,” he opens his eyes and waits for Hank to throw the usual “I’m sorry” at him, but he doesn’t. Hank waits for Alex to continue. “I was ten and my brother was six. My dad was surprising my mom on a helicopter ride of the city for her birthday, but the engine failed and there were only two parachutes.” Alex feels hot tears stream down his face. “They gave them to Scott and I and they pushed us out so we could live,” he collapses against Hank’s shoulder in sobs. “It should’ve been me.”

“No,” Hank says softly. “Your parents loved you and your brother very much.”

Alex pushes himself off of Hank and nudges him. “Don’t pity me!” He yells through a broken voice. “They’re dead! They sacrificed themselves for me and for what? I can’t do anything right-I can’t even control my own mutation. I’m just a fuck up and that’s all I’ll ever be,” he stands and starts to walk out of the room. He feels his arm being grabbed and he whips around to glare at Hank. “Don’t touch me!”

“Alex,” Hank says calmly and steps closer to him. “Breathe. It’s okay.”

Alex shakes his head as more tears spill down his face. “It’s not okay, Hank. They’re dead and they’re never coming back.” Hank engulfs him into a hug as he starts to cry again. Alex feels himself being scooped up in Hank’s arms and he wraps his arms around his neck for support. 

Hank carries Alex upstairs to his bedroom and lays Alex on his bed. “I’m going to grab you some water, okay?” Alex gives a solemn nod and Hank quickly walks downstairs to the kitchen and returns to him seconds later. Alex generously gulps down the water and sets the glass on his nightstand and stares blankly up at his ceiling. 

“I have nightmares,” he states and he can feel a dip in mattress as Hank takes a seat next to him. “Every night.”

“Have you told Charles?” Alex shakes his head. 

“I don’t want him poking around. I don’t want to remember.”

“You need sleep, Alex.”

Alex sits up to look at Hank and glares at him. “Get out,” he says firmly. “I knew you wouldn’t understand so just get out.”

“No,” he replies. “I’m not leaving. I’m not going to let you keep pushing me away when you clearly need someone to talk to about this,” Hank crosses his arms over his chest and stands his ground. “Call me every name in the book, I’m not leaving you alone, Alex.”

Alex rolls his eyes at that. “Stop _pretending_ you care.”

“I don’t need to pretend what I already feel,” Hank says clearly and Alex’s eyes soften as he looks at him. “I care about you, Alex.”

“Why? All I ever did was be mean to you.”

Hank shrugs and gives Alex a small smile. “You grew on me,” he gets off of his bed and heads towards the door. “I’m going to grab you some food and you’re going to eat it, okay?” 

Alex flashes Hank a small smile as well. “Okay,” he agrees.

When Hank returns, Alex didn’t realize how hungry he actually was and ate all the food Hank got for him and lays down in his bed, suddenly feeling tired.

“Get some rest,” Hank says as he watches Alex lie down in bed. 

“Will you stay?” Alex asks sleepily as he watches Hank walk towards the door. “Please?” Hank nods and joins Alex on his bed. “If I have a nightmare, wake me up.”

“I will,” Hank scoots closer to Alex and drapes his covers over them both. “I’ll be right here.” Alex nods and closes his eyes.

Alex falls asleep within a few minutes of closing his eyes. He feels a warm feeling wash over him as he sleeps, like he’s safe from all harm. Then the warmth becomes overbearing and he feels like his body’s on fire and he smells smoke and he screams-

“Alex!” He hears his name being called and he feels his body being shaken. “Alex, wake up. You’re dreaming.”

Alex slowly opens his eyes to see Hank is staring at him, his eyes wide with worry. “Hank,” he says weakly. 

“It’s just a dream,” Hank reassures and helps Alex slowly sit up in bed. “How are you feeling? Do you want some water?” 

Alex shakes his head. “I’m fine,” Hank gives him a look and Alex rolls his eyes. “I’m fine Hank, really.”

“Breathe.” Alex huffs and takes a slow breath. “Better?”

“Yeah,” he gives Hank a small smile. “Thanks.” 

Hank smiles and both of them lay back down. “Do you think you can go back to sleep?”

“Never really been able to,” he mumbles. 

“Have you tried breathing exercises? It might help to relax before you go to bed. It’s been proven to help with anxiety,” Hank rambles. 

“Keep talking and I may fall asleep,” Alex teases and closes his eyes again. 

“I see you still have your sense of humor,” Hank grumbles and Alex lets out a small laugh. “Just try it though, it may help.” Alex gives a small nod and takes a deep breath. 

_Breathe._

Alex manages to sleep through the rest of the night peacefully and for the next few nights that follow. He just needs to breathe just before he goes to sleep and that lessens his attacks. 

The only real problem Alex really has now is the fact that his bed is empty. Hank left Alex sleep on his own after a few nights of sleeping peacefully and Alex was really starting to enjoy whatever he’s starting to form with Hank. 

Alex decides to head down to the lab and visit Hank, who’s working away per usual. “Hey Bozo,” he beams as he takes a seat across from him and watches Hank work.

“Hello Alex,” Hank glances up and starts to smile. “You look well rested.”

Alex shrugs. “Some smart guy told me to try breathing exercises. It worked.”

“Are you saying I’m smart?” Hank’s smile widens. 

“No,” his smile falters, “you’re a fucking _genius_. I haven’t slept this well in _years_ , and it’s all thanks to you, Hank.” Hank smiles and a small blush rises to his cheeks. “I just have one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“My bed is empty, I need you to go fill it.” 

Hank raises an eyebrow at that. “If you think I’m going to move into your room, the answer is no. You’re moving into _my_ room since mine is cleaner.”

“You’re such a Bozo,” Alex grabs Hank by the collar of his shirt and seals their lips in a tender kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading!!


End file.
